Witches Are Hexing Brett Kavanaugh

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Witches are holding events to publically curse the guy.

As Brett Kavanaugh settles into his fancy new Supreme Court seat, people around the country are coming to a conclusion: Everyone's been pussyfooting long enough with this Kavanaugh guy. Time to take some real action. So just in time for Halloween, witches decided to hex him.

One Brooklyn metaphysical shop even set up a Facebook event for people to come and join in on the hexing in a ceremony involving effigies, graveyard dirt and coffin nails.

"Please join us for a public hex on Brett Kavanaugh, upon all rapists and the patriarchy at large which emboldens, rewards and protects them," announces the event's Facebook page. "We are embracing witchcraft's true roots as the magik of the poor, the downtrodden and disenfranchised and it's history as often the only weapon, the only means of exacting justice available to those of us who have been wronged by men just like him." They have a point: people concerned about Kavanaugh are pretty much out of regular options.

Exorcists, meanwhile, are fighting back. Father Gary Thomas, an exorcist in California, is holding a mass for Kavanaugh to counteract the witches.

“Conjuring up personified evil does not fall under free speech,” Thomas told a Catholic blog. Jesus Christ is even rumored to be attending the hexing ceremony.

While Kavanaugh may be known for his alleged sexual misconduct, his environmental record is potentially more concerning.

"Judge Kavanaugh’s record reflects a concerning preference for corporations and polluters over
public health and the environment,” wrote the League of Conservation Voters. The letter goes on to say Kavanaugh has spent years trying to weaken the EPA, help mining companies pollute waterways and make it easier for companies to emit toxins like mercury into the air. "He has also ruled against the EPA’s authority to regulate the pollution responsible for climate change," the letter continued.

It might be weird that witches are trying to hex Kavanaugh. But what's weirder is that, if Kavanaugh's future decisions are anything like his past ones, they may be the planet's last hope on this one.