It is like a scene from Beyond the Fringe, where Peter Cook remembers the horrors of rationing in World War II, where he used to calm his wife down by saying "we'll have a nice cup of boiling hot tea":
I never used to hear the nine o'clock news because I was always out in the garden round nine-ish planting carrots for the night-fighters. I do remember that black, black day that rationing was imposed. My wife came out to me in the garden, her face a mask of pain. "Charlie", she said, "rationing has been imposed, and all that that entails." "Never mind, my dear," I says to her, "you put on the kettle- we'll have a nice cup of boiling hot water."
Now they are not rationing tea or meat, but lettuce. The Guardian notes that it is due to bad weather in southern Spain, where lettuce comes from in winter. They do a fake Q and A:
Wait, people actually eat lettuce? Aren’t you supposed to buy it in a moment of delusional self-virtue, then leave it in your fridge for a month until it liquifies? No.
Oh. Will this rationing be over soon? Possibly not. A spokesperson for the British Leafy Salads Association said …
Hang on, the what? Alright, calm down, Britain has a Leafy Salads Association, let’s not make a fuss about it. Anyway, he said that this year’s Spanish crop has been utterly devastated by the weather, which remains so bad that some farmers can’t even go and plant the next lot.