It is like a scene from Beyond the Fringe, where Peter Cook remembers the horrors of rationing in World War II, where he used to calm his wife down by saying "we'll have a nice cup of boiling hot tea":
Now they are not rationing tea or meat, but lettuce. The Guardian notes that it is due to bad weather in southern Spain, where lettuce comes from in winter. They do a fake Q and A:
Wait, people actually eat lettuce? Aren’t you supposed to buy it in a moment of delusional self-virtue, then leave it in your fridge for a month until it liquifies? No.
Oh. Will this rationing be over soon? Possibly not. A spokesperson for the British Leafy Salads Association said …
Hang on, the what? Alright, calm down, Britain has a Leafy Salads Association, let’s not make a fuss about it. Anyway, he said that this year’s Spanish crop has been utterly devastated by the weather, which remains so bad that some farmers can’t even go and plant the next lot.