Onion: 'Countless Invasive Species Detained In EPA Black Sites'

EPA ski mask
CC BY-SA 3.0 Wikimedia/EPA

This is just too good:

WASHINGTON—According to leaked documents obtained this week by members of the press, the Environmental Protection Agency has for the past 15 years operated a network of secret black sites where an unknown number of invasive species are being held indefinitely. “We’ve learned that thousands of zebra mussels, acres of cheatgrass, and entire colonies of European pepper moths have been rounded up and transported to undisclosed sites throughout the world, where they are detained without legal recourse,” said activist Trevor Collins.

Check out the whole thing for yourself at The Onion.

Another good one is Climate Change Skeptics Could Reach Catastrophic Levels By 2020:

“In recent decades, we have observed an alarming increase in people who refuse to acknowledge the reality of global warming, which has exceeded even our worst-case projections,” said EPA administrator Gina McCarthy, confirming a worldwide spike in the number of deniers who are actively seeking to discredit the scientific consensus that human activity is responsible for climate change. “If this trend continues at its current rate, we will pass a critical threshold of unfounded skepticism within the next six years that will have devastating repercussions on every continent and in every ocean, threatening the entire global population.”

Sometimes the best way to tell the truth is with a joke...

Onion: 'Countless Invasive Species Detained In EPA Black Sites'
The inimitable Onion strikes again.

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