Walk into any garden in early summer, and you are surrounded by sex. Those bees, pollinating your pumpkins? Helping facilitate plant sex. Tomatoes? The result of plant sex. Leaf hoppers getting it on over on your Jerusalem artichokes, those monarchs fluttering around together...yep. Your average garden would be X-rated if we really thought about what was going on there.
So, in honor of the orgy that is life in the garden (and because it's not quite gardening season yet for me, and cabin fever is starting to take its toll) I started thinking of those gardening terms we use that can be taken a totally different way. And when I asked TreeHugger readers for help on Twitter, you proved that I'm not the only one who recognizes gardening's naughty side.
1. Hardening Off. In reality, not sexy at all, this process of acclimating the tiny seedlings you've been raising indoors to conditions outdoors. But we dare you to say "Baby, let's do some hardening off later" and not get an enthusiastic response from your significant other.
2. Hand-pollinating. We vegetable gardeners do some of this, especially if we're noticing a lack of bees and other pollinators in our gardens, or if we're planning on saving seed and want to avoid cross-pollination with other plants. A little manual stimulation never hurt anybody.
3. Self-pollinating. Certain popular veggies, such as tomatoes and peppers, are self-pollinators, meaning that they have all their equipment in one blossom and don't have to rely so much on insects, wind, or the gardener to help the pollination process along. It also sounds like something that a lot of us did (often, maybe) during puberty.
4. Sowing some seeds. Uh-huh. (This one was via TreeHugger's own Chris Tackett.)
And then, things started to get fun on Twitter:
5. From our own Pau Alvarado:
6. And Jerry Jamesstone got in on on the fun:
7. And TreeHugger's Ramon Gonazalez got involved, reminding us of a few sexy plant names:
Clitoria ternatea, Rooster Cockscombs, Aster, Red Hot Poker, Naked Ladies, Lady's Mantle. #DirtyGardenLingo— MrBrownThumb (@MrBrownThumb) March 9, 2012
8. Hilarity from a TreeHugger follower:
9. Via one of my followers on Twitter:
"Nice Melons" #dirtygardenlingo— David McClure (@TDavidMcClure) March 9, 2012
10. TreeHugger's Derek Markham. I'm so glad someone managed to work hoes into the conversation:
Doin' it with a hoe behind the barn. #DirtyGardenLingo— Derek Markham (@derekmarkham) March 9, 2012
11. Loved this one:
12. And then everyone got me thinking again:
Hardwood. #DirtyGardenLingo— Colleen Vanderlinden (@C_Vanderlinden) March 9, 2012
We hope this gave you a smile to end your week. If you want to play along, join in on the comments or with the #DirtyGardenLingo hashtag over on Twitter.