photo by allygirl520 via Flickr
Death isn't the only thing you'll find down the barrel of a gun. Now you can find food in those guns, just the way nature intended. What could be better than wrapping your lips around the barrel of a gun in order to get a piece of candy, a marshmallow or a shot of bourbon? Not much, friend.
What does this say about our culture? The world's food supply is waning. The US is in the midst of an obesity epidemic. Yet, we have people sticking fake guns in their mouths, pulling the trigger and "killing" themselves with nourishment. And not ironically enough, the chow ejected by these weapons is pretty unhealthy.1. The Potato Gun
Say what you want about the potato gun, but at least it can kill you. It's almost a real gun. You can make a DIY spud gun and shoot locally grown organic potatoes. What's not to love? They do burn propane, industrial lubricants, starting fluid and other readily available flammable liquids. They also waste potatoes. Of course, you don't have to shoot potatoes out of it. You can shoot something deadly, like French fries.
( For a laugh, check out the Stimulator.)
2. The Beef Jerky Gun
The beef jerky gun isn't a gun in the strictest sense of the word. It's a fairly worthless kitchen aid. Popular Mechanics named it one of the best kitchen gadgets that you'll only use once. That recommendation oozes sustainability. When you use your mostly plastic, overly packaged jerky gun, you'll be able to take your carbon-intensive red meat and blast it into jerky. This gun may not be able to actually fire, but too much red meat might manage to kill you. That's something.
3. The Alcohol Shot Gun
Because getting drunk was just too boring, we've been graced with a gun that can fire shot-sized rounds of alcohol. The newest craze in drinking games is Russian Standard Roulette. Impress your friends by imbibing a depressant while acting out your suicide. Just don't shoot yourself in the mouth and drive.
Seriously? We have this device on the planet? They are using materials for this? As environmentalists we're supposed to fly and travel less, but products like this can get manufactured, shipped, marketed and distributed. What's the carbon footprint of junk like this? This makes me so angry. I can't decide whether to shoot myself or have a drink. Wait. Now I can do both.
4. The Battery-Powered Marshmallow Bazooka
Uhm... I think this product speaks for itself.
From Hammacher Schlemmer
This battery-powered bazooka launches edible, full-sized marshmallows up to 40', forever changing the rules of engagement for marshmallow gun confrontations. The integrated microprocessor automatically regulates air pressure, allowing you to launch up to five marshmallows in 60 seconds without manual pumping. Simply load a marshmallow into the chamber, wait for the LED on the reticle to illuminate, and pull the trigger to bombard your mark with confections. Requires six AA batteries.
I was getting too lazy to manually pump my marshmallow gun. Now I can fire one marshmallow every twelve seconds using battery power. That will stop those invaders made of tissue paper from gently brushing against me and my family.
Six batteries! 'Nuff said.
More UnTreehugger Products
UnTreeHugger : Organic Batter Blaster
Flatpack Portable Toilet with UnTreeHugger Name
UnTreehugger : Gas Powered Party Blender
UnTreeHugger : Nellie's Dryer Balls
UnTreeHugger : Bamboo Feed N' Toss Pet Bowls