Wilbur the turkey
Meet Wilbur, the luckiest turkey in England, perhaps the world. He was raised, along with 49 other friends and family, on a pick-your-own turkey farm. His goal in life: to be eaten on Christmas Day. But alas, or should we say, happily, that was not to be. Customers rejected him: "underweight" they said, a "misshapen" body, no tail feathers, he has a limp. Others complained that he looked too sad and bedraggled.
So Wilbur has the last laugh. His owner is keeping him as a pet. Henceforth and forever more he will roam free on the farm and spend the rest of his days happily and peacefully. As his new best friend said: "Wilbur will become one of the family. He might be an ugly old thing, but we think he is lovely." Merry Christmas One and All. The Telegraph