Non-Ode to a Cocktail Napkin

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Dear Cocktail Napkin, How I tire of you! Thrown down on the bar as a gesture of "excellent customer service", you serve nothing more than this empty gesture. You immediately stick to the bottom of my drink causing me to peel you off and dispose of you. What a short, meaningless life you live. Sure, it´s no big deal as you say, but I´d rather go bareback or work with your cousin, the coaster, any day and feel a little bit better about things. Sincerely, Mike at Moe´s