Facial Hair FTW: Grow a Beer Beard and Save Water

photo facial hair beard closeup
Photo by Roland Tanglao

Thanks to the King of Beers. Budweiser has given men another excuse for not shaving, and growing a beard. Let's extend this to any beer, or any reason, for growing a beard and saving water. Like growing a beard for locally made microbrews, even organic microbrews, which taste better and in many cases are lighter on their environmental feet than the watered-down liquid distributed by corporate beer giants. Sorry, just a description that came to mind. Budweiser could be accused of green-washing in this case, since there's a lot of water that goes into making beer (about 1,500 gallons of water for a 32-gallon barrel, for instance).

The Budweiser Grow One. Save a Million campaign popped into my InBox the other day. All that internet data collection seems to be working (= this guy likes the environment and beer).

The campaign's press materials include a quote from the very manly Nick Offerman, who plays the equally manly Ron Swanson on TV's Parks & Recreation (and suffered a tragic facial hair mishap in the show's season finale):

"The only thing manlier than growing a big, burly beard is ripping a big, burly beard off of a charging grizzly with your bare hands. That, and saving the planet. Since no grizzly has had the balls to charge me since I went through puberty, I've decided to focus on saving the planet by joining with Budweiser to promote the 'Grow One. Save a Million' campaign.

Men, if you want to look manly and feel good about conserving water, join me and take the pledge on Budweiser's Facebook page. And grizzlies, charge me. Just do it. I'm waiting, you babies."

Bud estimates that men across America can save 1 million galllons of water by not shaving until June 5, World Environment Day. Each shave saves about 5 gallons of water, according to the beer company. Which seems like a lot. It may help to fill the sink instead of letting the water run, guys.

As for the greenwashing possibilities, Bud says, "In the past three years alone, our 12 U.S. breweries have reduced water use by 34 percent. Additionally, our employees and their families take action by volunteering to participate in local river cleanup projects in communities across the country."

Let's give Bud credit with coming up more ideas for saving water. Let's just agree that this challenge doesn't have to be tied to Budweiser. It can be tied to microbrews, organic microbrews, making beer in your basement, even Kid Rock's American Badass Beer, which tastes like Pabst to me but is made with the power of biodiesel.

Actually, growing a beard also is a way to save on time (as in morning shaving), and save our skin (speaking for all men who endure the blade). Any excuse to go to work without having to shave is an excuse that I can embrace. Folks who work from home, sometimes in their pajamas, will agree (saving water by doing less laundry).

If only I could actually grow a decent beard. Mine only seems to grow in half way, until I'm forced to shave it or be rounded up by police who think I'm a vagrant (or endure taunts of 'rat face' from the general public).

We all have to envy folks like These TreeHugger Sages who grew beards for strategery. What goes better with a beard than a beer? Something that leaves crumbs, probably.

More on Saving Water
7 Simple, Unexpected Ways to Save Water
Military-style '3G Drone' Hunts Down Water Loss
The Clean Water Act Isn't Very, NYT Investigation Finds
Save the Beers!

Tags: Beer | Michigan | Water Conservation


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