"Do SUVs Make You Stupid?"

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Well, seeing as it's Friday, we thought we'd pass on a little light reading for you to peruse over the weekend. And so we give you a recap of the latest from anti-establishment columnist and humorist extraordinaire Mark Moford, of the San Francisco Chronicle. Today's rhetorical question: Do you SUVs make you stupid?

Citing the "willful ignorance" of the SUV-owning, which, admittedly, includes friends and family, Moford points out that despite the Schwarzeneggerazation and greening of California, SUV sales nationwide have plumped up a whopping 56 percent in the past eight years. On top of that, they have terrible safety records and tend to be in more accidents, are awful polluters (duh), and "tend to flip over easier than Paris Hilton after a dozen Bacardi shooters." So what exactly keeps intelligent Americans who know in their heart of hearts that SUVs are ruining our health and the health of our environment and keeping us dependent on Saudi-owned oil and continually warring in the Middle East?

According to Moford, it may be "that a big part of the sad American ideology is a willful separation of cause and effect, and that there are worse atrocities in the world than owning a shiny black knobby-tired 5-ton Ford Expedition that never sees anything more rugged than a pothole in the Krispy Kreme drive-thru."

"The SUV is hypocrisy incarnate," he goes on. It is the perfect emblem for the American view, for our position in the world: gluttonous, vain, mostly useless."

We know we're preaching to the converted here, but this stuff is perfectly harsh, and pretty funny, too. Good things, 'cause guess what kids—if you weren't laughing, you'd be crying. Read the complete story at ::SfGate.com [by MO]