Alternate Wedding Gifts for the Royal Couple

solar queen photo
Photo: kikkerland

It seems that the upcoming Royal Wedding is being taken more seriously abroad than it is at home in the UK. Ticket sales for flights out of the country during the royal weekend have skyrocketed and spoofs abound.

Here is a choice selection of some of the better class of "gifts" that the newly weds probably won't receive on the big day. Starting with Her Majesty: One waves since one's handbag is solar-powered.

kate necklace photo

Photo: cockney jewels

This Cockney pearl necklace would be a dream come true for some lucky girl. The pendant is made of a real broad bean (the vegetable) and lacquered so that it won't melt. It's a play on words using Cockney Rhyming Slang. In Cockney, broad bean means the Queen. If you would rather, there is a set of cuff links with the Queen Mother on them or her corgi dog.

royal tea photo

Photo: donkey products

Have a nice cuppa with the royal family. Pick your favourite royal and boil them up... Their arms hang over your tea cup.

tea royal photo

Photo: royal collection

What is any celebration without a commemorative tea towel? This is the real thing, available courtesy of the royal family, with their approved design. Yawn.

ulster tea photo

Photo: ulster weavers

Here's a wild and crazy one, totally unapproved, unofficial and a limited edition. Take your pick.

fiona knits photo

Photo: Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Published by Ivy Press

Don't forget the DIY Knit Your Own Royal Wedding book by Fiona Goble. Her 64-page manual has patterns for knitting your own Royal family, complete with the Queen's corgi dog, the Queen herself, Prince Philip and several different figures of the royal couple.

sick bag photo

Photo: baltic

If this is all too much to bear, then how about an official (sic) Royal Sick bag. Handy bags are available in Royal Blue and Regal Red, if you expect to be nauseated on the big day, or just want a tasteful souvenir. Each one is signed by the artist.

More on the Royal Family
Royal Wedding Gift List Includes Green Charities
Queen Elizabeth Grows a Royal Vegetable Garden
Prince Charles Gets in Trouble with Architects Again

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