Photo credit: Phil Wiffen via Flickr/CC BY-SA
Do you or someone you know suffer from WTS? If so, your days of misery may be at an end! Hark! A cure has been discovered! As you all know, WTS stands for Wind Turbine Syndrome, and it's the latest atrocious disease to afflict a handful of grumpy people who have too much time on their hands. You see, when wind turbines have been built in a reasonable proximity to their property, this oppressed group of a couple dozen people has been reporting that noise from the turbines isn't just annoying them, but actually making them fall ill! "Research" on the topic was done by the pediatrician Nina Pierpont, who self-published a book on the subject, and has since been protesting wind turbines across the country. She may be interested in the miracle cure, then: Money!Yes, it turns out that there's no record of any of the owners of the land on which the turbines actually sit ever complaining of any of the symptoms of WTS -- despite being much closer than the aggravated neighbors. Why could this be? Well, power companies often pay landowners pretty solid sums for the right to erect turbines on their land. You can make good money leasing your land to power companies -- and evidently the magical power of increased bank accounts fights off whatever it is that's behind wind turbine syndrome.
Of course, WTS, as it stands, is on pretty flimsy ground -- Medical experts have already fairly thoroughly debunked it. And Pierpont's work has more holes in it than than a moon landing conspiracy theorist's. As ABC's Simon Chapman explains in an epic takedown, her study was never properly peer-reviewed, her sample size was laughably small, and Pierpont never even examined the sufferers of WTS in person -- she only did phone interviews, and took the angry neighbors' claims at face value! That's about as unscientific as you can get.
No, so-called Wind Turbine Syndrome could probably pretty easily be diagnosed as something else -- a simple fear of change in the face of encroaching modernity, perhaps occasionally mixed in with a general resentment of the good fortune of others.
More on Wind Turbine Syndrome
Wind Turbine Syndrome : It's All In Your Head
Oregon Wind Farm Neighbors Offered $5000 Not to Complain About Noise