In a report just in from the Robert Moses Middle School in North Babylon NY, students and staff there have become concerned by the fact that the school photocopy machine is exhibiting signs of a strange illness. They're not yet quite certain what it is, but a key symptom they're reporting is a propensity to chew up trees at an amazing rate before spitting them out in shreds with some sort of toxic goo all over them. And all while consuming vast amounts of water, paper, and energy that's leading to global warming through the release of CO2.
Now, they're working feverishly to find a way to keep this disease from spreading, but there's no way to know if it already has… In fact, there are rumors coming out of California that it may have already worked its way into school photocopiers there.
We at TreeHugger are asking people not to panic, but just take a good hard look at the photocopy machine in their school. It may be exhibiting signs of a strange, contagious disease that’s contributing to global warming.
And in the interest of saving the planet they’ve set up a Copy Crisis Team in North Babylon to handle inquires and compare notes with other schools. If you think your school photocopier may be affected please contact them immediately at copycrisisteam (@) gmail (dot) com.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: Crisis Confirmed, The Great Copy Machine Epidemic is Under Way!