Image credit: The Onion
Apparently it's not just BP failing f***ing booming school we have to worry about anymore. Nor the terrible effect that the oil spill is having on UK pensions (I hope someone told the sea turtles!). If The Onion is to believed, there's an even more menacing threat.
Bullshit. In true Onion style, we are warned that this might be the biggest instance of corporate bullshit since the Exxon Valdez:
"Observers have noted that after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, corporate bullshit gushed up like a geyser for two decades and didn't wane until the oil company had bullshit its way through an exhaustive process of court appeals that ultimately reduced payouts to victims by 90 percent.
Despite Hayward's denials that BP is at fault for the environmental disaster and his concern that it will result in "illegitimate" American lawsuits, the embattled CEO has still managed to trickle out a few last drips of bullshit sympathy for Gulf Coast residents."
Oh, The Onion. What would we do without it? And as always, there's more than a ring of truth to their parodies. I can't be the only one "feeling ill and disoriented upon contact with that particularly vile plume of bullshit", can I?
See what happens when BP spills coffee for more comic relief.