Halliburton's One-Size-Fits-All Climate Change Solution


For those of us who typically find corporate America's response to global warming painfully flaccid, economically self-destructive, and morally reprehensible, Halliburton's most recent contribution to climate change preparedness comes like a puff of fresh air. Presenting at the Catastrophic Loss Conference held at the posh Ritz-Carlton in Amelia Island, Florida, Halliburton representatives demonstrated three mockups of their innovative SurvivaBalls, protective suits with the ability to insulate members of the economic nerve center from the climatic and social disturbances resulting from an upset global ecosystem. Although appearing awkward at first, the benefits of the suits quickly become apparent. The devises, which Mr. Wolf described as "essentially a gated community for one," are ingeniously integrated with a host of advanced features like communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, and onboard medical facilities. In addition to a "daunting defense infrastructure," SurvivaBalls are able to gather energy from a plethora of sources, including wind, hydro, and even living animals. Mr. Wolf and Dr. Northrop Goody of Halliburton's Emergency Products Development Unit earnestly answered the insightful questions from conference attendees, who inquired about "how the device would fare against terrorism," "whether the array of embedded technologies might make the unit too cumbersome," and the issue of the unit's cost feasibility. It must also be asked if these suits might one day be affordable for the average family, or for members of the developing world, especially considering the cost of inflation. In addition to assuring attendees that these and other issues were actively being address, Mr. Wolf expressed Halliburton's forward-thinking approach to climate change, viewing it as an opportunity pregnant with promise. "The SurvivaBall builds on Halliburton's reputation as a disaster and conflict industry innovator," said Wolf. "Just as the Black Plague led to the Renaissance and the Great Deluge gave Noah a monopoly of the animals, so tomorrow's catastrophes could well lead to good—and industry must be ready to seize that good." :: Halliburton (story from Hugg)