British Government Unveils Satellite Surveillance Program To Make Bicycles More Popular

george orwell photo
Portrait of George Orwell.

The British government is proposing installation of satellite surveillance devices in all new cars and trucks sold after 2013, so they will be able to "track the whereabouts of drivers anywhere in Europe," The Guardian reveals.

Breaking News, 1 April 2009: TreeHugger has learned that the true intent of this program is to increase the popularity of bicycle riding. Naturally, George Orwell's birth nation would be the first to get in on some Orwellian climate action.

Under the proposals, vehicles will emit a constant "heartbeat" revealing their location, speed and direction of travel. The EU officials behind the plan believe it will significantly reduce road accidents, congestion and carbon emissions. A consortium of manufacturers has indicated that the router device could be installed in all new cars as early as 2013.
Won't people be surprised when those car-seat weight scales send real-time uploads of Body Mass Index (BMI) information to their docs?According to privacy advocates, real-time heart rate monitors and breathalyzers were delayed only because of high equipment costs. (At least one good thing comes from the collapsed global economy.)

PETA has offered to fund research into a breath amino acid vapor sensor capable of detecting especially carnivorous drivers. This did not go over well with the Beef Eaters, however, who are proposing bean gas detectors...Tut tut.

If implemented in the USA, a proposal such as this would be very good for NRA membership.

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