10 Headlines We Hope To See in 2009

Dr Oilysteins Stimulus Chair: Bringing Life Support To Climate Deniers photo

Green Stimulus Chair For Climate Deniers, Design By Dr. Oilystein
Image credit: Jaeys.com

A new year, a new Federal administration, and a new outlook on the green scene. In honor of hope, we huddled, putting our heads together to come up with 10 headlines we'd like to see hit the news wires in '09. Some reach for the stars; a few are silly (but culturally relevant). Go ahead and call us dreamers; we'll be over here feasting on the optimism while it's still in the air. 1. Federal Stimulus Package To Fund Development Of Special Green Chair For Climate Deniers (as pictured)
This would shake some sense into them.

2. iPod Battery Warranted To Outlast Your Golden Oldies Playlist

So you won't have to always buy more "stuff".

3. Baby Boomers Arrested in Washington DC Protest Against Gen-X Passivity On Climate Change.

Double dare you. At least you won't end up like this guy did.

4. Obama Declares Documents Discussed at Government Meetings To Be Publicly Posted
Really...they already started doing that?
5. Coal Industry Drops "Clean Coal" PR Campaign, Invests Savings in Reducing Mercury Emissions and Shoring Up Ash Ponds.

Or else.

6. James Hanson Says He Finally Can Sleep At Night...Sometimes.

There's always hope.

7. Ford Targets Farmers With F75 Pickup - Half the Horsepower of an F150

You really don't need all that power in the suburbs. Un-pimp our rides, please.

8. Conservatives Get Back to Roots With Nationwide Swing to Support Conservation.
Opportunity knocks. Better late than never.

9. Grandmas Everywhere Called Out Of Retirement To Teach Canning and Cooking!

It's cheaper and better for you. Young Kelly has the basics explained here.

10. "Made In USA" Label Reappears in Stores, as "Made in China" Fades Away.

This kind of shallow patriotism would be good for jobs as well as the planet.