Coming Soon to Your Bathroom: The Bluetooth- Controlled Bidet/ Toilet

Promo image. Lixil Satis

Lixil Satis/Promo image

Ever since I read The Bathroom Book by Alexander Kira in university, I have been a bit bathroom obsessed. After three years of using my Blue Bidet I don't know how people can live without a bidet equipped toilet. They are healthier and they are greener, using less water and energy to wash and dry you than it takes to make and treat toilet paper.

But perhaps you can to too far. In Japan, where bidet toilets are common, Lixil has introduced the SATIS, where you can control all of its features from your smart phone via bluetooth. Only your bottom touches the toilet; you control the bidet wash, the warm air dry and the flush, all from your phone.


Satis/Promo image

The toilet has a sound system so that you can play music (a common feature to cover the sounds) but it will also monitor electricity and water use. Perhaps the most interesting feature is the "toilet diary" with cute ideograms so that you can document your droppings. This seems like a better idea than using Instagram.

On the other hand, a recent study done at Queen Mary University of London found that one in six cellphones studied in Britain were contaminated by fecal matter, making them a lot dirtier than the flush handle on a toilet, and they are a lot harder to clean. An American study looked at eight phones in Chicago and found that all of them had high coliform counts.

So maybe doing all of this toilet management on your smart phone is not such a good idea after all. At least you can disinfect your toilet, which is hard to to to your phone.

Found on Dvice, which finds the toilet creepy and suggests nefarious uses:

Now, if that makes you even moderately uncomfortable, imagine how uncomfortable your new remote-controlled toilet could make your friends. A mysterious flush is the tip of the iceberg. There is simply no prank like the surprise bidet strike.