New Lanes for Reckless Drivers Coming Soon


A cocaine-addled commuter pops a wheelie on his way to work.

Sigh. While TreeHugger works so hard to promote lower speed limits and better driving, the Onion tells us that the Department of Transportation is investing $270 Billion to build special lanes for dangerous and careless drivers.

"These new lanes are for the millions of drivers who can't be bothered with speed limits, turn signal use, or not careening madly out into oncoming traffic" says Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters. "Whether hell-bent on putting themselves and everyone around them in danger or just drunk off their gourds and out for a simple joyride, America's reckless will no longer be forced to putter along with careful, conscientious, considerate citizens." ::The Onion