Scientists Find Billions of Inhabitable Planets We Can Use to Replace This One

ESO/L. Calçada/Public Domain

Beware, any blueish loincloth-clad denizens of earth-like planets! We have discovered that your homes exist, and it is only a matter of time before we set out to exploit them for resources, once ours is satisfactorily ground into a smoldering dystopia.

You see, primitive alien race X, our scientists have just discovered that there are likely tens of billions of rocky, potentially life-supporting planets in the Milky Way alone. Space.com reports:

There should be billions of habitable, rocky planets around the faint red stars of our Milky Way galaxy, a new study suggests.

Though these alien planets are difficult to detect, and only a few have been discovered so far, they should be ubiquitous, scientists say. And some of them could be good candidates to host extraterrestrial life.

Which is good news for us, since we're on the verge of royally and permanently ruining the presently hospitable climate of the one we live on.

Also, we're cutting down all of our trees and blowing the tops off of all of our mountains at the moment. And in the future, our global elite will surely want a private planet with all of its mountains and trees intact to vacation on, or to sell to other global elites to establish an intergalactic minerals trading hub.

So what good news that there are potentially tens of billions of unspoiled, inhabitable new ones! Totally takes the pressure off of preventing this one from going to shit, you know? See you soon, aliens!

P.S. Just a heads up: Might want to heed the words of Stephen Hawking, ("We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet"), and/or rent some of our better sci-fi films for reference. Cheers!

Tags: Conspicuous Consumption