So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish! Hadron Collider Turns on Tomorrow
by Lloyd Alter, Toronto
on 09. 9.08
38 Second dramatization of the end of the world, scheduled for sometime Wednesday
We noted in a previous post that some people are worried that when they turn on the Large Hadron Collider it will create a black hole that will turn the earth into a "shrunken dense dead lump of something called “strange matter” although we are doing a pretty good job of doing that anyways without any help from the collider.
CERN says it ain't gonna happen, and provides a old-school rap explanation (it's hilarious) of what they hope to find, below the fold. But just in case, thanks everyone, it's been a slice.
More on CERN
Turn off the Large Hadron Collider to Save the World
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You mean to tell me we're allowing those fools, the ones that came up with what might be the tackiest rap video ever, to play with something that could end our earth?
Screw that! I don't need to know! We've got enough problems without the higgs boson. How much money have they spent on this? What good will come out of it? What are the risks? Exactly.
Put these people to work inventing new solar and battery technologies. Then we'll see humanity advance.
*frustration* Not TreeHugger too! For heaven's sake, labs around the world have been doing earth-ending experiments for years without this hype. It makes me wonder if Dan Brown's depiction of CERN has a high tech hotbed for unsafe research has anything to do with the doomsday predictions.
I live 5km from CERN (ex-pat Canuck) and like most people living here are going about business as usual.
Stop the drama! The real story will be in 6 months when the researchers have had time to process some of the data and determine just how accurate the Standard Model is.
The whole point of spending 5 billion USD on the LHC and other gold plated physics projects is to PREVENT those scientists from developing new energy technologies which might create a FINANCIAL BLACK HOLE, or singularity, which would suck the value from coal and oil company shares bringing markets to their knees as it's discovered individuals and communities will be liberated from utility company rates. We have to keep people working to pay the monthly bills or the rentiers would have to learn how to do something productive with their time.
Actually, all they had scheduled for tomorrow is circulating a beam around the LHC (and they've already circulated individual particles). They're not doing any high-energy collisions (which is what the loonies think will break the planet) until after the official unveiling on October 21st.
It's great that people are getting interested in a physics experiment, but I really wish people reporting on it would at least take the time to read up on it before they go fear-mongering. Wikipedia would be a good start.
They are particle physicists, when you can even speak at their level, give me a call back and then tell me what a bad idea this "world ending" experiment is. This is WAY beyond regular old nuclear physicists. Call their video tacky if you want, I just think it's funny :p
People have been saying "XYZ" can end the world for much longer than this. The nuclear bomb was half expected to cause a chain reaction with the hydrogen in the atmosphere and burn our planet to a crisp.
They are quite aware it won't end the world, and given my lack of experience and their decades, I'll take their word for it.
P.S. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadron_collider#Purpose
Awesome. beyond. words. Way to go, CERN geeks!
In the immortal words of T.S. Eliot:
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a....rap song!?!.
These are physicists. Were you expecting world-class rap?
And if these people had wanted to do work on applied physics fields like batteries and solar tech, they could. They prefer doing particle physics. Basic research often looks useless in the short term, but improving theory in fundamental physics, or pure math, ALWAYS ends up leading to unexpected insights and great advances later on.
Science works best when you let researchers find the problems most suited to them.
Anthony,
.01% of the time, fundamental research ALWAYS leads to useful innovation.
The rest of the time is spent failing, but you can't get those incedible .01% innovations without the 99.99% fail time.
@ GreenPlease & windsor,
I know some physicists who are absolutely fantastic in their field --- but their specialties are not all related to renewable energy production!!
Let the renewable energy experts invent the better production methods, the material scientists the better transmission cables and the world class particle physicists play with the higgs boson.
@ Canuck K & Stephen W,
Ummm taking into account the Douglas Adams quote in the post's title -- I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Lloyd was not engaged in fear-mongering but rather was attempting through humor to lessen the worry.
***
Damn that rap is funny :D
If this thing creates a black hole that destroys the earth, it won't matter how much money we spend doing it.
But I wouldn't rack up my credit card just yet. There's a pretty good chance that these physicist guys have actually done the math, unlike every reporter on earth, who wouldn't know their ass from a black hole in the ground.
Anthony said:
"improving theory in fundamental physics, or pure math, ALWAYS ends up leading to unexpected insights and great advances later on."
Like, say, making Fusion reactors work properly? :)
Who knows what kind of green technology this will yeild. Better understanding how the universe works is always a Good Thing.
Nuclear scientist's rap! It seems Dr. Poindexter is still around (remember the Revenge of The Nerds?)
(bad) Jokes aside, it's important to remember our current society depends heavily on technology developed some time ago for science or military needs. Current computers, engines, trains, medicines, etc; have their roots firmly based in earlier scientific experimentation. Just a simple fact: countries with better life levels are the ones who invest more in research.
So two particles crashing together is supposed to destroy the planet? Never mind that that sort of thing happens on a constant basis throughout the universe and on our planet. The only difference is that this is in a controlled environment.
That's the thing with scientific ignorance, it gets you paranoid for no particular reason. Does make for the occasional good sci-fi tale though.