New Lanes for Reckless Drivers Coming Soon
by Lloyd Alter, Toronto on 03.12.08
A cocaine-addled commuter pops a wheelie on his way to work.
Sigh. While TreeHugger works so hard to promote lower speed limits and better driving, the Onion tells us that the Department of Transportation is investing $270 Billion to build special lanes for dangerous and careless drivers.
"These new lanes are for the millions of drivers who can't be bothered with speed limits, turn signal use, or not careening madly out into oncoming traffic" says Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters. "Whether hell-bent on putting themselves and everyone around them in danger or just drunk off their gourds and out for a simple joyride, America's reckless will no longer be forced to putter along with careful, conscientious, considerate citizens." ::The Onion
Tell me this is a joke?
"the Department of Transportation is investing $270 Billion to build special lanes for dangerous and careless drivers"
Really? Like... REALLY!?
Haha,
Good 'ol Onion. I can always count on you for a laugh.
Thankfully it is a joke.
I think that the third paragraph in The Onion article can pretty much clue you in to take this with a pound of salt. But if you think that this would be bad if it were true, check out what Bush is doing with CSX. This will come back to bite him before his term is out.
Well, on the plus side, 270 billion is a small price to pay to weed out all the gasheads and their penismobiles. Think of it as a Natural Selection Subsidy.
The Onion is a satirical newspaper (all the stories are parodies). What's funny is that not everyone knows this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_onion#The_Onion_taken_seriously
All I ask is that the people on cell phones be forced in to these lanes too. :)
-Lego
You all realize the Onion is satire right???
One word: Funny.
Do you do ANY research before posting?
Tthe elephant having such a good time! Yeah, it's a statue.
The Onion is a "Satire". From m-w.com:
1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn 2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
But it's just occurred to me that Treehugger.com is possibly a satire as well.
Its amazing that 270bill that can be used to build more solar panels or more wind turbines or even to be invested in HYDROGEN FUEL ELECTROLISIS is being used for the Stoned Lane on the highway...
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THE ONION IS A JOKE NEWSPAPER!!! wow, I can't believe someone posted this as real news, and didnt question it. Did you also post that "Depression now hits losers hardest" and that "Morgan Freeman is now narrating uncontollably"? WOW
'You all realize the Onion is satire right???"
Oh yeah. I pick up a copy at the local corner store on a regular basis and then recycling it on my daily download. (flush)
-Lego
Lloyd posts Onion excerpts all the time.
Love it!
The Onion is funny, but the maatter-of-fact way it waas reported here doesn't seem right.
Hilarious, thank goodness it's a joke.