Annals of Great Ideas: Snow Caves in Texas
by Lloyd Alter, Toronto 
on 11.26.07
Joni Mitchell nailed it in Big Yellow Taxi: "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'till its gone." at which point you just have to fake it. As out of place as a water park in Phoenix, they are going to build, in Texas, "a winter wonderland like no other. Situated on a 250 foot tall 35 acre landscaped man-made mountain structure, Glacier Peak will keep you busy for days with over a mile of multiple expert and intermediate ski runs and jumps." Somehow, Utilizing [an unexplained] environmental friendly technology, Glacier Peak will envelope you in an atmosphere that is 15 to 20 degrees cooler than the surrounding area."
But wait, there's more!
The hills are alive with plastic snowflex snow.
There are caverns filled with real snow. "Deep within the Snowball Caverns beneath Glacier Peak, guests can experience real snow play in the largest indoor snow experience of its kind anywhere in the world. Once you are inside the Bearfire Snowball Caverns, you can completely ignore the rising mercury level outdoors.
The snow remains frozen throughout the year and you can even experience snowfall here. Ice caves and gulleys can be used by children for sledding and sliding. Bundle up and experience Snowball Caverns."
"The Glacier Wall is a masterpiece of geometric design, a rare place where the first-time climber can work out moves side-by-side with an expert in a friendly, non-competitive atmosphere. All climbers are safely roped to a state-of-the-art belay system. Surface varieties range from steep slabs to huge overhangs, from easy verticals to obtuse stemming walls, as well as two caves for the ultimate in endurance training and power."
Now we like our snowboard as much as anyone else, but making snow and ice for the caves takes a lot of energy, and Texas is coal-fired. And an alpine village? This is just about the stupidest thing to come out of Texas since, well, never mind. ::Bearfire Resort via ::Core77
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This is really really sad.
Hey, before you poo-poo it, somebody needs to do a lifecycle analysis comparing flying Texans to Utah and doing all the extra indoor heating there to making a little winter down in Texas.
This might not actually be a bad idea...
I am eagerly waiting for more of these weird theme parks to appear across the US. There seems to be infinite potential: How about a desert theme park in Seattle, WA? Or a floating tropical island in Albuquerque, NM? Or millions of lush green lawns in Southern California? Oh, wait, I guess we've already got these... (see ecomorons.org for some pics).
Isn't living eco-friendly all about adapting to the surrounding environment rather than adapting the environment to you? Lowering the ambient temperature by 15 to 20 degrees over the entire area in an environmentally friendly way does not seem feasible. Boo on you, creators of Glacier Peak. Hopefully no one goes.
that occurred to me... what would waste more energy, flying to a snowy area or recreating it...
but comon... common sense... this is absolutely retarded...
and its funny because just before reading this, i was watching something that most texans might appreciate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y
and here they are, wasting huge amounts of plastic and energy to create a "a friendly, non-competitive atmosphere" where they can frolic about. comon america, harden the f*ck up.
lol...
No doubt there will be an on-site Starbucks for hot-chocolate, a McDonald's for nutritious snacks after hitting the slopes and a Wal-Mart so tourists can suit-up in "cold-weather gear."
I hope this is not built, one of the nice things about Texas is the LACK of snow.
I hope they ban concealed handguns. Guns and skis, NOT a good mix.
What failures. I urinate in their general direction.
I would think a ONLY 250 foot tall ski slope would be so boring for anyone except children, and how much money can you make off such a limited market?
Well, when it goes bankrupt it will make an awesome penguin habitat!
I doubt this will offset any ski vacations to Utah. Something tells me that the target market isn't the same one that goes to Jackson Hole.
And once those busloads of kids hit the slopes, all jacked up on Pepsi, Texans will learn pretty quick about yellow snow.
@Bert Berla
No no, Texans go to Colorado to ski. New Yorkers fly to Utah.
I'm all for it if it means one less car on I-70.
an awesome t-shirt
http://www.palmercash.com/images/products/texashell-350.jpg
Now Mississippi can say "Thank God for Texas"
Actually Texas had quite a bit of snow this last weekend... Some areas with 6"+, kinda unusual for here.
It is somewhat of a a strange idea, though I'm sure many people might be receptive of it. It couldn't be all that bad.
GoingGreenNow
I think this is a great idea, you naysayers are a bunch of hippies. I just wonder what it is like to ski on this stuff? I hope they make more of these around. I dont care about the real snow, I want to learn more about the fake stuff
One good thing about it, no Coloradans.
There are only two ways to achieve a low temperature over such an area: Either enclose it, or throw a huge amount of power into the cooling plant. Im guessing this uses the latter, because nowhere in the promo material does it mention any thirty-meter-tall windbreak wall.
Texas is coal-fired? Wrong. Very few power plants int Texas are coal-fired. In fact there has been several recent debates about the opening of coal-fired plants cost vs environment. Propane and Natural gas account for the highest proportion of energy production, which tends to be cleaner, but more costly than coal.
At the end of the article it says, "This is just about the stupidest thing to come out of Texas since, well, never mind." I assume this is supposed to mean GW Bush. As we should all know by now that person is not from Texas. Putting on a hat and boots and cleaning brush in your giant ranch does not make you from Texas. If you are born in Connecticut that means you are from Connecticut.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_w._bush
I guess there's a market for fast and convenient (isn't that the direction everything seems to be heading?). If it works, we can look forward to seaside winter beaches in Michigan, Rain forests in Arizona ... and hey ... let's climb Everest in Florida.
Amen, Coreburn. I can't stand people who live in tourist areas, their economy is supported by tourists, and yet they hate tourists. [edited for obscenity]
I doubt there would be any fewer Texan skiing and snowboarding enthusiasts travelling to their favorite slopes as a result of this resort. They may check it out just because, but they will travel to enjoy real snow. This will just be another tourist attraction in the Dallas area.
How different is this than the water park in West Edmonton Mall?
Maybe someone can set up a temperature exchange market.
It sounds to me like there are alot of people out there jealous of TEXANS. Wow! I have a whole bunch of love for Texans y'all. You know what they say, Everything is bigger in Texas.
GOD BLESS TEXAS
It sounds to me like there are alot of people out there jealous of TEXANS. Wow! I have a whole bunch of love for Texans y'all. You know what they say, Everything is bigger in Texas.
GOD BLESS TEXAS
On one hand, I am disapointed that we would have something nasty like that in my hometown. On the other, I miss snowboarding with a passion. I am not sure I would condon this type of recreation.
Another key thing to remember for the people who are poo-pooing america......a Brit inveted snowflex. Now, it was an american that coined this park-idea. People all over the world can be idiots. Please think before you spew. We should be targeting eco-idiots, not a whole nation.