Birthdays Without Pressure
by Kenny Luna, North Babylon, NY on 09.19.07
You knew it was bound to happen, and a group of parents and professionals in St. Paul, Minnesota have come up with a campaign called Birthdays Without Pressure. After noting the endless circuit of parties and hoopla for young children in which they had become entangled, and observing the often endless pile of gifts each one adds to the inevitable mound of toys the child already has, they set about to stimulate a local and national debate on how to manage children’s birthdays without all that pressure and excess.
As an environmentalist I certainly like the idea of fewer toys. Why? Well, let’s face reality… Beyond the issues of lead paint and the like, the inconvenient truth is that what’s creating the most problems with them environmentally is the sheer volume present in children’s homes and closets across the country. It’s taking energy to create them, increasing the drain on raw materials, and in the end creating even more of a mountain at the local landfill.
Now before you suggest I’m just being the Grinch here, let me relate a brief experience about a short trip I took to the home of an undisclosed acquaintance recently. They’d finally purchased their dream home, and in fact, it was quite beautiful… But the children’s rooms were already bursting with toys. I then headed down the stairs into the basement and there was another room overflowing with toys… But this one was roughly four times the size of each of the two children’s bedrooms, and I couldn’t even get into it! Next stop on the tour was the garage… And, of course, it contained even more toys. But my absolute favorite part of the tour was when I reached the den, where two small, adorable children were entertaining themselves by running and jumping all over the couches while wrestling with each other. For some odd reason, there was nary a toy in sight.
I certainly do suspect a reduction in toys is a positive thing, and the folks at Birthdays Without Pressure have some great ideas to reduce the influx at birthdays that inevitably accompanies their passing. Enjoy.
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Simple rule: Once the child turns five they have to donate as many toys as they get as presents, which includes giving them to younger siblings.
Finally! Now maybe some of these people will stop the glaring at me for not buying toys-by-the-ton and actually take my kids to the dare I say "free" park for absurities like fresh air and leg room. Horrible mother that I am!!! :P*
Wow, that's insane. Whatever happened to the old rule about no more guests than the birthday child is years old? I worry enough about my son having too many toys just from gifts from the grandparents.
It amazes me the pressure people put on kids' birthday parties. My daughter wanted a "Princess Party" for her 5th birthday, so I told the parents to have their daughters wear princess dresses if they had them already. That was it for the theme.
One of the moms couldn't believe that I hadn't hired a "Princess" to come to the party.
The kids just ran around in their dresses and had a blast. No planned activities, just little girls having a grand time playing. That was plenty enough for one of the girls to call it the best party she'd ever been to. Homemade cake and unthemed plates, which, while still disposable because I wouldn't have enough otherwise, I can keep using when I have that situation again because they aren't limited by a theme. Haven't figured out a better way to handle things than that.
Presents are definitely hard to figure out a way to green. They're so much out of my control. When I give birthday presents to other kids, I focus on active and unusual. I love encouraging kids in their natural desire to run and play.
And of course my daughter's excess toys periodically go to one thrift shop or another. They may as well go for a good cause.
Yes! Even with twice-yearly toy clean outs and requests for needs (e.g., clothes for growing boys and college fund donations), we're still drowning in toys. And they never play with half of them.
And now that both kids are in school, it's always another birthday party.
This is a great site. We've always done smaller parties, but now I've got great suggestions on gifts. For one birthday party we were invited to, the parents discouraged presents and let everyone know the birthday boy would choose 6 from the ones he received (he was turning 6) and the rest they'd donate to a local charity. We weren't available to go, so I never heard how it turned out, but I applaud their efforts.
One of my biggest fears about having children is how to raise them without all the excess. When I was a child I remember coming back to school after christmas holdiays and all the 6th graders would comapre their haul over the break. How silly! How do you combat a national culture of excess and greed? I guess this site is one step in the right direction.
My favorite toy growing up was a white sheet. It was so versatile! Oftentimes the excess is from being out of touch with what the kids really want. The example in the article was spot on.