We Can't Make This Stuff Up Dept: "Safe Bedside Table"
by Collin Dunn, Corvallis, OR, USA on 08.20.07
File this one under "When weird implementations happen to good ideas." The "Safe Bedside Table" goes from bedside table to home intruder protection system in two quick steps, so you can make that would-be burglar sorry they tried to invade your space by just rolling out of bed. We think most transforming furniture is a good idea -- stuff that performs multiple functions with minimal materials makes us smile -- but this might only be useful to the more paranoid light sleepers among us. After the jump: the last thing your burglar might ever see. ::James McAdam via ::Spluch
Dude, when you're demonstrating your product on the internet, PLEASE put on a shirt...
It would probably be helpful to get actual training in broadsword & shield at your local SCA shire. Probably not at all effective against Meth heads.
IMO in such tight quarters a Gladius Hispaniensis would be more effective. Or a .45.
I have way too much stuff on my nightstand for this to be useful.
Perhaps a bedside lamp/shotgun combo to go on the table as well? Actually, what happens to all the stuff that's on the table during the transformation from furniture to defensive gear? Is one just supposed to hurl off the clock radio, glass of water, novel, glasses, bobble-head Hello Kitty, prophylactics, iPod, box of tissues, diary, and cup of pens off onto the floor; or do they somehow become part of the arsenal?
I think we need an optional chamber pot helmet. Then life will be good.
The kind of person who buys this is gonna use it having gladiator fights with his drunken buddies in the middle of the street, and I'm not sure the average football helmet is going to provide enough protection.
Burglars nothing! I can see a million poor blokes getting pounded by sorehead females. OTOH, rapists would have trouble getting into bed with a mouth full of broken teeth...
A little design change, and the shield & club could leave a table undisturbed and still be a good alternative in places where gunpowder is the devil. Also, put on a shirt.
It might help to make the shield bullet proof.
If someone has broken into your house with potential to hurt you and your family, do you really care what happens to the stuff on top the table?
I see you put on a shirt! Sorta. Table is great! BUT I too see a bunch of male bimbos duking it out over brewskies. Bullet proofing it would be a plus.
Is that table bullet proof? I would hate to get shot and have wood splinters to worry about also.
Why bulletproof? if someone has a chance to fire then the table isnt doing its job is it?