A Picture is Worth ... What's For Supper?

Stupid Bird for eating all of that......So is the bird going to be Ok???

The bird is alive and well. He just needed his stomach pumped.

===
Um no, it's dead as a doornail; an ex-albatross, if you will.

poor birdie :(

The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Heh..thats pretty rad. Non-edible birds in countries like mine usually eat tasty industrial waste like factory grade chromium, led, mercury,antimony and ammonia...thus they can ensure a short,painless journey away from this wretched land that neither care for its people, nor for any other living things on its lands...only for fat politicians.

As for edible aves..slurp :) They will be just fine in our once in a week feast...that is considering we can get above the flood water that is everywhere..

I hate my life.

read the article.
it says te bird was dead

Definitely a tragedy. However, I do wonder, what is the story with the natural objects the bird consumed as well? (i.e. the collection of stones) Any ornithological types who can explain that behavior?

Birds ingest hard stuff (like rocks, glass, bb gun pellets...) in order to help digest what they actually eat.
To my knowledge, it's mostly wild birds that do this since they eat things like seeds with indigestible shells. Rocks help to break this down in their 'stomach'. You may have noticed pigeons or sparrows pecking at the ground; this is what they were doing.
Hope this helps

that's a good question, Poor_Leno, i'm hardly an ornithological type, but my guess is that it was to aid digestion, or perhaps they were eaten by mistake )the bird thought it was something more tasty(.

this was in national geographic magazine a while ago. they said it was the fledglings parents that fed the baby bird all the trash. i guess its a rather polluted area, and bright colors attracted the adults attention. as to why they were dumb enough to feed their baby it, i dont really know.

The good news is that there were no condoms in the mix. Obviously our current sex education courses are working and kids now know that condoms are evil.

Katy said: "this was in national geographic magazine a while ago. they said it was the fledglings parents that fed the baby bird all the trash. i guess its a rather polluted area, and bright colors attracted the adults attention. as to why they were dumb enough to feed their baby it, i dont really know."

Because they are bird-brains. Albatross are NOT known for their intelligence. Not as dumb as Boobys, but not very smart.

This problem was also featured on either Animal Planet or Discovery Channel. Forgive me I don't quite remember that part. The program was about saving Hawaii's islands and highlighted how the lives of the Albatross, the dolphins, the people of Hawaii, and people of the world are affected by waste.
Albatross birds will eat anything that is floating on the surface of the water. This is a good asumption many years ago before the invention of plastic. Reason being that anything floating on the surface of the water would have been dead or if the birds were lucky could have been a schoool of fish that dolphins were rounding up.
To think that the birds are intentionally killing each other by feeding the plastic to their young is ridiculous. The parent is only trying to feed it's young by regurgitating what's in it's belly. And agian, before humans went ahead and created plastic, this was an effective way to feed their young.
The whole point of the program and the article is to RECYCLE PEOPLE! This is a direct correlation between plastics and their hazards to wild life.

coño ya se donde perdi el mechero!!!

Hi
Unfortunately this isn't the only trajegdy that is happening to albatross.

100,000 albatrosses are dying every year from threats posed by hooks on longline fishing vessels.
That's one every five minutes.

If you wish to read more and see what is being done to help the albatross be saved from extinction
see www.savethealbatross.net
Kind regards
Heather

"...where they are occasionally consumed by foraging seabirds" seems to be a bit of an understatement in this case, doesn't it?

I've eaten many cigarette lighters and it has never done me any harm.

Apart from when I had to go to hospital to have all the cigarette lighters removed.

I do believe i saw my lighter in there! damn, i've been looking for that thing everywhere!

thats sad