Let's Make Oil From Corpses!
by Matthew Sparkes, London, UK on 06.15.07
The Gas and Oil Exposition in Calgary was gate-crashed by the Yes Men, the combination theatre group and political activists. They pulled off an impressive con, pretending to be representatives from the NPC and Exxon. Andy Bichlbaum gave a talk, posing as Shepard Wolff of the NPC, where he admitted that the Earth is heading towards “huge global calamities”. On the bright side, he suggested, “the oil industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of people who die into oil.”
This was quite a surprise to the audience who expected the NPC, advisors to the White House on oil and gas issues, to be announcing the findings of a DoE study. Fellow Yes Man, Mike Bonnano, then took the podium posing as an Exxon employee named Florian Osenberg. "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will continue to flow for those of us left," he said cheerily.
The pair then lit a candle which they claimed was made from the body of a former Exxon employee, who died cleaning a toxic spill. It was as they showed a video of the late employee talking about his wish to be turned into a candle that the suspicious audience finally decided that they were the victims of a prank, and security pulled them off stage.
Whilst TreeHugger doesn’t condone this sort of prank, it does see both the funny side, and the important message behind the act. Perhaps gate-crashing a conference isn’t the most sensible course of action, but it certainly has got a lot of publicity. One has to wonder how many of the audience were calculating the cost-benefit of creating oil from corpses before they realised what was happening. I would be willing to bet that at least some were, and I hope that it provokes some contemplation. :: Wired Science
See also :: Exxon on Global Warming :: This is News? Scientists Slam Exxon for Disinformation Campaign ...
There's a company in Carthage, MO that converts turkey carcasses (provided from the nearby Butterball plant) into oil. So why not people? It's either fuel or soylent green.
Might as well.
"treehugger doesn't condone this sort of prank"
that's a real shame. the continued capacity of billions of humans and non-humans is threatened by a global catastrophe that the very intrests the yes men were lampooning, and treehugger is concerned about the propriety of their prank?
a real shame.
lexy
If wish to turn me in to oil.I will see you burn in hell.Those who think of this are sick.How would you explain to thier faimly?
I have left clear instructions in my will.My ashes will be loaded into a morter round.Then explode mid air.To be followed by a party.
I would think creative, harmless, intelligent, and thought-provoking actions would be exactly the sort of thing Treehugger would want to encourage. Isn't that what bold design is all about? Challenging the norm, thinking outside the box, and coming up with ideas to move people to a more realistic mindset.
Where do we draw the line? What are we willing to sacrifice (or not sacrifice) for the sorts of things that we believe we want? Are the technologies we're using really the best way to take care of our needs? These kinds of questions can be asked in a lot of different ways, to get people to really think about the choices they make.
mmmm soylent green .... drooool.
I guess its like Greenpeace, great message but they go to far even for a lot of green activists.
Having watched the movie, its obvious why they took this course of action, they try being subtle at conferences, and the audience always just watches the show, no matter how outrageous they made the claims, it was always watched and politely applauded, i guess they finally did something to be noticed by the audience.
Anyone seen the movie soylent green? http://imdb.com/title/tt0070723/
Hehe, there's a new way of looking at fuel economy. MPG...now standing for "Miles Per Grandma". Yikes. Well, on the upside, people saying "You can pry my SUV from my cold dead hands" can now feed them ;)
If anyone is has read Frank Herbert's Dune that is what the fremen do on Arakis for water, squish the corpses of the fallen. That is where they got the idea for people into oil, it is a big joke among traditional energy companies that we should turn all the tree hugging hippies into oil.
They even look like GOULS.I would prefer a green burial.Just me and the dirt / trees.
Who says treehugger doesn't condone this sort of prank?!? i'd have the Yes Men preside over my wedding if I could book them. rock on, Yes Men!
We do not have to wait for people to die.
We cannot control the amount of fuel we burn let alone control the amount of food we eat. This has given us obesity, and the extra weight is draining resources as more energy is required across the spectrum. We demand bigger meals that require greater supplies, cooking fuel and bigger clothes are made from more material . This situation makes far too many unhealthy people who are requiring far too much support because of the preventable excess loads they are made to carry.
Therefore the solution is simple.
Liposuction laws need to be made and enforced.
Ford can produce a human cell powered car. A liposuction jack plug installed in seats could power passenger vehicles and may be driven as far as the occupants fat stores will allow. This will promote car pooling as loading the car with fatties might be the only way to go the distance. Going by bus might be more convenient, by sharing the fuel extraction with many other fatties.
However as the nation slims down the morbidly obease can be farmed where they lounge in the suburbs to provide fuel which would provide work for those that need fork lifts and home reovations before transport is possible
This solution may not work in Darfur.
It is a joke, but there is a certain degree of validity to the idea. There are craploads of dead bodies that are buried underground, and plenty of bodies that are lying in the streets, alleyways and wherever the hell else people die.
Also, there are people who die who do not have families. There are people who die who have families that don't care anymore. There are people who die in wars, alongside their families. There are people who die, all the time for several reasons. If these people have no one to speak for them after they have passed, they would be the ones turned into oil.
@Anonymous:
"If wish to turn me in to oil.I will see you burn in hell.Those who think of this are sick.How would you explain to thier faimly?"
Oh c'mon! It's not like we'd start going on massive killing sprees to obtain oil (sarcasm).
But seriously, the general idea would most likely be the same as organ donations, or donating one's body for scientific purposes. If someone wanted to be turned into oil, they could state so in an official document. Otherwise, they would be buried/cremated/etc as requested in their will, or as requested by their family.
@Simon:
While there are several solutions to obesity, I doubt that a mandatory liposuction law would actually be instated (if that is indeed what you are implying). And it's not so much that we CANNOT control the amounts of fuel and/or food consumed, it's rather that we are too ignorant to see what we are doing. We are also (at least, in America) a society fueled by greed and monetary possessions, and are generally egocentric. Albeit there are exceptions, it is fairly clear that the US is full of ignorance and flat-out stupidity.
The concept is a good one, in my opinion. It may seem horrible, but if we are to continue as we are, it may be deemed necessary at some point. Same with stem-cell research. People get so pissed off about that, even though UMBILICAL CORDS are home to over 1 million stem-cells. And guess what happens to those? They get snipped, and thrown away. What a waste.
In a slight way, it's the same way with people. Those who are not suited to pass on their genes are snipped off the societal tree. But more often than not, these individuals are simply tossed away. We can utilize the trimmings.