Who in the name of all that is good and holy are Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey? Well, by all documented accounts they are a "team" (can two people be a team?) of highly energized and deeply focused scientists with more than 67 combined years of experience, including the six months they spent lifting awkwardly sized boxes.

Their book, Animals of the Ocean, In Particular the Giant Squid, provides spectacular and innovative insights into the enigmatic creatures of the deep. What exactly are a squid's dating dos and don'ts? Why can't squid watch black-and-white television? And don't tell us that the long-term effects of salt water on musical theater have never haunted your thoughts as you lie awake in your bed at night waiting for the Ambien to kick in?

You can discover the answers to these and other delightful morsels of wisdom such as "How Recycling Works in Utah," "The Mid-Atlantic Grey Shark's Guide to Installing Floor Tile," and "What Kind of Music Do Giant Squids Listen to While Traveling by Train."

Let's toast these magnificent animals that inhabit our oceans and our imagination. Humans, by contrast, are so tiresome. :: The McSweeney's Store

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