How to Give Up Cycling — by Red Smoke

by Warren McLaren, Sydney on 12. 5.06
Cars & Transportation (bikes)

stopbiking.jpg

“Following the shocking revelation that heat generated by vigorous exercise is a major contributor to global warming we are all having to reassess our own activities. It comes as a major surprise to many of us that storing energy in human fat is actually a valuable way of reducing our impact on the environment. Government may be introducing plans to extract this fat by large scale liposuction programmes and storing it underground but we all have a responsibility to reduce our participation in ecologically hazardous physical activity. Looking at my own lifestyle, it was easy to identify my cycling habit as a major problem. I’m only too aware of the amount of heat that cycling can generate but cutting down was not going to be easy so six months ago I turned for help to my friend Jeremy.” The saga continues amirth at ::Red Smoke, via Greenleap.

Photo by Tom Fuldner, via Bike Friday.

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Comments (14)

is this a joke?

jump to top menace says:

Well maybe exercise does create excess heat but if everyone were heavier we would also be burning up more fuel when we drive, fly, etc. Not to mention if we all had lots of excess fat fuel usage would probably increase with more medical procedures. The more important thing is the fossil fuels we are using because of the CO2 released by these should have a much slower release over time if they were kept in their natural state in the ground. Pretty much all the gas types have cycles, which we are disturbing with our current activity. It would be much more helpfull if we tried to follow these natural cycles as close as possible. But this is the ideal and with our modern lifestyle this would be very hard to do. Everything we do has side effects, we just need to look at what is most harmful in the long run. I don't think excess body heat was ever a problem when there were more animals and less people doing non sustainable activities.

jump to top Kyle Drennen says:

So, obviously this is a cynical post but what is the point of this post?

jump to top Alex says:

That gets a hardee har har.

jump to top doh says:

this is the stupidest thing i have ever heard.

jump to top tim says:

I love the photo of the bike in traffic.

jump to top Rob says:

"A very common, almost defining feature of satire is a strong vein of irony or sarcasm, in fact satirical writing or drama very often professes to approve values that are the diametric opposite of what the writer actually wishes to promote." Wikipedia.

jump to top warren says:

Cest Tres Bon!! Ouai!

jump to top greg says:

I consider myself to be a pretty sarcastic SOB, but I don't think I could of ever came up with it. This article was pure genius. Keep up the great work!

jump to top Webs says:

Ha ha! That was great.

jump to top Paul says:

'Sigh' come on people!

Here's a tip - if it ends ".co.uk" then don't expect to find "(sarcasm)" anywhere in the text ;)

jump to top MY says:

so I saw this chuckled at the headline then moved on.. I didn't see the comments until I linked to it from the "myths to avoid" post out of curiousity as to what the "confusion" was.

Can we start an IQ test for commentors?

jump to top Mike D [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

ok not to offend anyone, er mabe so but, only an idiot would believe that human body heat contributes to global warming, how is that even possible? I can see mabe us burning more calories and farting more cuz of it we may give off more methan gas but even if every organism on the planet starting working out more it would contribute less than a trillionith of a percentile to the planets green house gases. As for our body heat thats even more far fetched, there are much hotter things on this planet than an exhausted humanbeing...say really anything that the sunshines on. Although there are alot of very hot women and mabe they might have somthing to do with raising the earths temper as they raise mine. Id ask them if they are contributing or not but they wont even talk to me =(

jump to top Fouad Ali says:

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