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Hummer - Can't Buy Me Love

by Erin Courtenay - Madison, WI on 02.28.06
Culture & Celebrity

TransAm_3 copy.jpg

The Smashing Pumpkins said "no thanks," the Talking Heads gracefully declined, electronic rockers Trans Am told them to hit the road - and my guess is that if they were still around, the Beatles would have said no too. It seems as though Hummer is in the rather unusual position of being unable to pay artists to abandon their values to endorse a product that pretty much represents all that is f*cked in the modern world.

Modernista, current employer of the fellow that brought us the luminous Nick Drake VW ad (go on, admit it - it sucked you in too), is on the lookout for new tunes to help manipulate viewers such that they begin to believe that life is infinitely more hip and meaningful when behind the wheel of a petroleum guzzling behemoth. But despite their uncanny ability to find gifted artists that are still struggling to make it in the biz, the spin doctors of Modernista are having a tough time closing the deal. "It had to be the worst product you could give a song to," (lead singer for The Thermals, Hutch) Harris said. "It was a really easy decision. How could we go on after soundtracking Hummer? It's just so evil." Via Austin American-Statesman

Comments (17)

I'm sure they're making commercials for the H3 Hummer, since that's all we've seen lately. Have you seen an H3? I think you'd be surprised to find that it isn't as big as you think. Here's a comparison for you:

Weights

Hummer H3: 4700

Jeep Grand Cherokee: 4200-4600

Chevy Tahoe/GMC Yukon: 5500

Volkswagen Touareg: 5000-5800

Nissan Xtera: 4400

All of these vehicles have about the same dimensions, with the Tahoe/Yukon being a foot and a half longer, and a half foot wider. The Xtera is slightly shorter than

The H3's gas mileage at 16 city, 19-20 highway is right in line with all of these vehicles. Now tell me again why Hummer is so different from every other large vehicle on the road?

jump to top mosier says:

"The H3's gas mileage at 16 city, 19-20 highway is right in line with all of these vehicles. Now tell me again why Hummer is so different from every other large vehicle on the road?"

Well, the first problem with your comparison is you're taking Hummer's newest vehicle, which is by far its smallest, and comparing it with some of the largest vehicles offered by certain brands.

The period in which Hummers were stigmatized preceded the release of the H3, so that's where that comes from.

Feel free to post the specifications for the various trims of H1s and H2s -- noting that the fuel economy data are estimates, since the vehicles are so large as to be exempt from fuel economy requirements. They're also so large as to qualify for massive tax subsidies, despite the fact that they are not work vehicles by any stretch of the imagination.

If one can't see the qualitative difference between that and, say, a commercial-grade pickup used for a real purpose, then you're not really making an honest comparison.

jump to top Joseph Willemssen [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

As an ad geek I wanted to point out that the advertising agency behind the Nick Drake VW commercial was Arnold, not Modernista.

True, some of the same people were behind both commercials. But they were at different agencies.

jump to top Anonymous says:

Can Arnold sing? I'm sure the environmentally friendly California governor (a joke if there ever was one) would be happy to take a ton of money to sing the virtues of his many Hummers... Personally, I think Hummers are for girly-men. As a woman, I assume any man who needs to drive that kind of car is overcompensating for certain, shall we say, shortcomings...

jump to top sol says:

"All of these vehicles have about the same dimensions, with the Tahoe/Yukon being a foot and a half longer..."

Apropos, since the H2 is nothing more than a Tahoe/Yukon/Suburban with ugly aesthetics. (Same chassis and similar drivetrains, different bodies.) If you look at the long list of rediculous gas guzzling vehicles out there, there are plenty that would make the hummer look like a Green machine. I suspect that much of the hatred towards the H2 has more to do with the conicidental hatred of 'inequitable' concentrations of wealth among many left minded individuals. Which, is of course, par for the course. But lets be fair: all the energy being used to deride the overt and conspicuous H2 might be better put towards the International XT - an automotive form of phallic compensation if I ever saw one. More common and agregious is the proliferation of commercial grade trucks being used as daily drivers, often by people without the driving acumen to actually pilot these behemoths through rush hour traffic.

Have you noticed the Google ads to the right of the articles? They are advertising places to buy and accessorise your Hummer!! Ahh, the irony...

jump to top Indigo [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

If those with phallic compensation issues didn't have soaring gas prices to reign them in, I'm sure the H3 would acutally have been designed to be bigger than the other H's (because the demand would still be there)...

I re-read this old post; so good.

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/10/small_car_chic_1.php

jump to top kathryn says:

MINI Coopers rock.

jump to top D says:

"Now tell me again why Hummer is so different from every other large vehicle on the road?"

While that is a valid argument, the point is "Hummer" is synonymous with "big automobiles". I think the average responsible Treehugger's vitriol should be shared by Hummer, Porsche, GMC, Ferrari, Toyota, Land Rover, etc. for all their large resource wasting short-lived vehicles.

jump to top J L says:

"I suspect that much of the hatred towards the H2 has more to do with the conicidental hatred of 'inequitable' concentrations of wealth among many left minded individuals. Which, is of course, par for the course."

Ah, Mr. "Unity" is back trolling again. How cute.

jump to top Joseph Willemssen [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

Throw your two cents in, and you'll get change. I suggest you don't start.

Classic. The troll responds within 9 minutes of my post. You sure work hard to prove me right, troll.

Hey, could you fly off the handle and do another 1,000 word rant about phantoms again? Please throw in another admission that you troll ("[I] have seeded this article with enough inflammatory rhetoric that he'd be forced to respond") as well as pathetic threats of violence ("I'd hate to bump into this guy at a recycling center while wearing my Bush/Cheney t-shirt. He'd jack his jaw, and I'd have to beat him to a bloody pulp. Violence as a solution to conflict is nothing less than a wing-nut leftwit like him would expect, and I don't like to disappoint.").

Thanks, troll. Run along now.

jump to top Joseph Willemssen [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

Joseph, you really need to get medicated. And I mean that in all seriousness. You also need to unplug, because I can think of nothing worse that someone who actually hovers over their keyboard looking to pick fights on the Internet like you do. The fact that you actually timed my response is disturbing enough, and considering the comments you posted on the other thread, I have half a mind to report you to the site management as a cyber stalker. Your behavior is beyond disturbing.

As far as trolling goes, you ought to consider that you are the one who has made a pattern of off topic comments. You sullied the other thread with your vitriol, then as soon as you had a chance you went off topic on this thread. Unlike you, I actually contributed to the material at hand. You sir, are the troll.

Thirdly, you keep referencing statements made at another site. My personal site. And yes, I posted that at my site (note: my site) to goad you into moving your cyber-bullying nonsense there, where at least I could at least talk some sense into you without annoying everyone over here. You just won't let it go. And I won't be cowed by some immature keyboard commando. So here goes: if you have something substantive you want to talk about, something related to the topic (the topic being, obviously, how responsible artists are refusing to promote an irresponsible vehicle), then have at it. If all you want to do is pick fights with me, then go away. I'm not your girlfriend. And I am dead serious about reporting this to the site management.

Pure projection - what a joke.

*******************************************************

author's comment: I can see that this discussion is generating some heated feelings. Might I suggest that you find another outlet - perhaps emailing one another directly - for your debate. It appears to be getting personal and it is not necessary for all readers to be subjected to the quarrel. Move along please. Thank you, Erin

jump to top Anonymous says:

I think you miss the point of branding, andrew. The brand and it's favorable recognition are very valuable to any company. Note how SBC bought at&t but adopted the at&t brand. Or how we suddenly have this 'Altria' mega-brand due to negative brand associations. If the Hummer brand can be devalued by the average consumer in such a simple way, I don't see that much 'energy' is being wasted in that pursuit but a strong message is sent with little effort. Free market at work, no? Isn't that what you like? This has nothing to do with wealth distibution but I suppose that was just another bit of your flame bait.

jump to top dug says:

Arnold would have had a hybrid Hummer in his driveway in 1997 if GM had not bought the company to prevent it from happening!

jump to top RemyC [TypeKey Profile Page] says:

It's funny you should mention a hybrid hummer. The HUMVV, which has only been in service for about two decades, is already on the way out. One of the vehicles which is in contention to replace it (and is currently being tested by the Marines) is a hybrid of sorts. A small displacement turbo diesel motor drives a generator that charges a bank of batteries. At each of the four wheels is an electric motor. This is similar to how large construction equipment has been made for years now. The considerations for this type of design were all tactical and logistic, but they meshed nicely with environmental considerations. The HUMVV was such a piece of junk; every soldier I know from ci to the motor pool will applaud the day these things are loaded into the crushers.

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