Santa Announces Strategic Shift Around Coal-Based Plastics

Dec.-2007:- A spokesman for Santa's North Pole workshop has announced that during this Christmas 2007 delivery season re-usable water bottles will be "stocking-stuffers" in drought-suffering US domestic markets. The 2007 US trials will focus on high quality stainless steel bottles, with national scale-up expected by Christmas of 2008, "when US stainless steel water bottle suppliers are up to capacity."

This and other changes are underway, based on strategic planning initiated in 2006, according to the famed North Pole workshop, "after it came to our attention that there were plans to use coal as a raw material for US plastic production".

In an emotional sounding statement supplied by the workshop, Santa is quoted as saying: "We have a strategy for climate mitigation in place. We don't put coal in good children's stockings; and we're not giving plastic items made with coal as a raw material."

"What's found in the stocking Christmas morning sends a message that lasts through the year. We want to teach kids to avoid every-day disposable items like water bottles, especially if coal becomes the raw material. So, long lasting, refillable water bottles are going to be a part of our message. Many children know we're in melt down mode up here; and, in a way, our strategy is only responding to their hopes for the future."

Update: Sources inside the Pole have just leaked more of Santa's strategic plan to TreeHugger, which you'll be hearing more about in a subsequent post.

Via::Eastman Chemical, Creating Value through Coal Gasification; and, Columbia, South Carolina, USA - Manufacturing Site Image credit::AffirmWater, Stainless Bottles.

Tags: Christmas | Coal | Gifts

Best of TreeHugger 2014

WHAT'S HOT ON FACEBOOK