Glenn Beck Joins PETA
To those who have watched him closely, it should come as no surprise--Glenn Beck is on the record saying that he truly respects just two organizations: the NRA and PETA. So when the inflammatory talk show host announced on last night's show that he'd finally taken the plunge and officially joined the animal rights group, it came as a shock only to those unfamiliar with Beck's views--though it stunned much of the rest of the world. In the segment on his show, Beck explained how supporting PETA equates to supporting freedom and why he's renounced leather and all other animal products.Following the announcement, Beck took to his blackboard in a segment of his daily show to explain how, in a similar way that the roots of all things socialist and Hitler-related can be traced back to Obama, the roots of all things benevolent and libertarian can be traced back to PETA.
It was this reversal that served to puzzle some Beck aficionados--the Fox News regular has a well-documented love for steak and eating meat. But, as Beck said during the segment on this landmark episode, "Just as the single greatest thing Americans have is freedom to live their lives--freedom that is being blasted to bits by the AK-47s of universal health care and pollution regulations--so too should that freedom be granted to animals being persecuted by socialist forces."
Beck then went on to point out how animals reared and kept in factory farms are subject to the
"same assaults on freedom that Obama is directing at all of America. There's food rationing, regulations on the space they live in--the authorities even tell the animals which kind of food they can eat! The authorities regulate every aspect of their lives--just like Obama, the Apollo Alliance, and the EPA want to do with yours!"He then went on to show that supporting PETA, and freedom for all animals, would lead to bipartisanship (as you can see detailed on the blackboard), and eventually to peace in the United States. Evidently Pamela Anderson also has some role to play in Beck's freedom-filled free market utopia.
PETA president Ingrid Newkirk then appeared on the show to formally congratulate Beck on his announcement. They talked briefly about how freedom for animals is important, before talk turned to the topic of Al Gore, whom both parties agreed was an idiot for not being a vegetarian.
It's too early to say how all of Beck's supporters will react to the announcement, but fellow conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh commented only by saying on his radio show yesterday: "I hope he fails."
Perhaps even more surprising than the announcement itself, Beck has agreed to appear in one of PETA's infamous publicity campaigns. Early rumors indicate he will appear in Times Square along with other activists covered in feline body paint, holding a sign whose message has yet to be revealed, wearing only a loincloth made of lettuce leaves.