Ahhhh! The Light Bulb Ban is Coming! Everyone Start Hoarding!
Photo credit: Napalm filled tires via Flickr/CC BY-SA
"Hurry! Everyone in the car -- we're going to Home Depot! Let's clean 'em out of incandescent light bulbs before someone beats us to it. Then we'll hit Lowe's! Then Ace Hardware! Otherwise, we'll never get to feel that warm, energy-wasting light on our skin again! Light that Michele Bachmann and Rush Limbaugh tell us is the flickering light of our very freedom! Ahhhhh! What's that you say? We'll still be able to get incandescent bulbs after the ban goes into effect, they'll just be built more efficiently? Liar! You just want to distract me so you can get all those bulbs for yourself! I'll see you in hell! Florescent-lit hell!"
--Fictional statement overheard after a Massachusetts resident finished reading the overwhelmingly slanted and exceptionally moronic Boston Globe piece that all but encourages consumers to start hoarding light bulbs before the alleged "ban" (which is anything but) goes into effect.