Secret Video of Government Highway Spending Plans Hacked and Exposed

The Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood has been secretly determining where the next tranche of infrastructure investment will be spent. They were not going to reveal this until after Copenhagen because of its appalling carbon footprint, but someone hacked into Youtube and found this classified film that exposes where the money is going, how we will ultimately lose control of our cars to computers that the government trusts more than it trusts us, and how, in the interest of keeping Caterpillar and the concrete industry going, they will build highways just about everywhere.

Environmentalists are disgusted at the plans for cantilevered bridges through the Grand canyon;

The British government, in exchange for its support, have demanded a highway directly connecting the Parthenon to the British Museum so that there is no reason to return the Elgin Marbles.

Dan at Discovering Urbanism is unimpressed and think it unrealistic:

Ok ... leaving aside the question of the possibilities of technological progress, this vision is not even internally logically consistent. There are no acres of parking lots, no roadway congestion whatsoever. People's muscles have not atrophied, and their waistlines are still oddly thin. The family unit is still intact, even though the entire world is oriented around hyper-individualized convenience. Nobody seems to drive right off the side of the guardrail-free elevated motorways. Energy is infinite and omnipresent, presumably transmitted through the air. Land and materials are infinite, having no pre-existing value. Unless, that is, we conquer cause and effect in the future ...

But can't help but agree with the closing message from the Secretary:

The highway is a magic carpet to new hopes, new dreams and a better way of life.

Found at Planetizen

Tags: Wayback Machine

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